Happy Freakin' Birthday, Noodle!
by THEdragon-of-rainbows
Summary: Noodle celebrates her twentieth birthday on Plastic Beach. Y'know crazy stuff goes down on that li'l island. My second fic. Oneshot, no pairings.


"Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you." Their voices droned, somewhat unenthusiasticly. "Happy Birthday dear Noodle, Happy Birthday to you."

It was October the 31st on Plastic Beach- Noodle's 20th birthday. Since the Rhinestone Eyes video was cancelled, Noodle's arrival with Russel at Plastic Beach should've never even happened, yet she was sitting at the small, circular table in the study room with the cake in front of her. Murdoc was sitting with his elbows on the table and his chin in his hand, looking ticked off about something. 2-D looked pretty scared, but was trying to look happy at the same time. Cyborg Noodle was at the opposite side of the table, staring directly at the real Noodle, and Russel was outside on the shore of the plastic island, wishing he was inside with his bandmates. He had to stay outside because he couldn't even fit his head through the entrance to Murdoc's Plastic Beach mansion.

2-D stood up and began to cheer. "Hip hip hoor-"

"Just shut up and let her blow out the candles, idiot!" Murdoc interrupted. Noodle slowly lifted the cat mask off her face and silently blew out the candles, barely changing her rather unhappy expression.

"Now here's a knife!" Murdoc said, handing Noodle a large meat cleaver. "Cut the cake so we can eat some!" Noodle snatched the knife/weapon from Murdoc's dirty green hands and looked at the cake. It was a nasty green cake which smelled suspiciously like the ocean and there was a dead, smiling, multicolured jellyfish on top of it. She slowly lowered the meat cleaver into the middle of the cake, where the jellyfish's eye was, squirting purple eye goo onto 2-D's face. As the sharp knife went further into the rather unappetising cake, strange things ment to resemble 'icing', 'cream' and 'jam' oozed out. After Murdoc, 2-D and herself were served their peices of cake, Noodle finally spoke.

"Did you make this?" She asked Murdoc, reluctantly lifting a spoonful of cake to her face.

"Nope, I got the cyborg to make it for me!" The bass player replied proudly. Hearing this, Noodle instantly dropped the spoon back onto the plate. She didn't trust that thing one bit.

"Why don't we go sit out on the deck... it's sunnier out there..." Noodle suggested.

"Yeah, and I'm getting really lonely out here!" Russel yelled. "Where's MY peice of cake!"

Murdoc scoffed down the rest of his piece of half-edible cake and went upstairs and onto the deck with Noodle and 2-D, who gave their cake to Russel. Upon seeing the cake, not even he would attempt to eat it.

"Beep beep BEEEEEP!" Cyborg Noodle beeped furiously, isulted by their disapproval of her culinary masterpiece. She then fell on the floor and began malfuntioning horribly, twitching and flailing uncontrollably.

"Uhmmmm... Ooh! I got you a birthday present" 2-D said, grabbing a badly wrapped box and handing it to Noodle.

"Thank you, 2-D!" Noodle replied, sitting down on a deck chair to open the box and feeling slightly happier. She pulled out a framed photo from back in 2001. It was a picture of her, wearing her signature red-and-white jacket and her purple radio helmet. She was sitting on the knee of a badly beaten up shopping mall santa looking REALLY ticked off.

"What the hell happened there?" Russel asked, leaning in disturbingly close and squinting his big white eyes to get a better look at the photo.

"Ugghh, it's embarrasing to explain..." Noodle replied with a sigh. "I'll explain it in flashback form."

*Flashback*

Noodle was waiting in line to have her photo taken with 'Santa' at a local shopping mall.

"She's too old for this crap, dullard, let's buy the stuff we need and GO!" Murdoc yelled harshly.

"What? I didn't stop sitting on Santa's knee until I was fifteen!" 2-D replied with a slightly nervous laugh. "Besides, we need a decent photo for our photo album!" Before Murdoc could react, little Noodle reluctantly sat on the knee of the man dressed as Santa Claus.

"Hohoho! I hope you and your family have a very Merry Christmas and a jolly new year!" The Santa exclaimed happily.

"Uhhh... My name is... Noodle?" The little guitarist replied, not quite understanding what he had just said.

"Ooookaaaay..." The shopping mall Santa said, slightly confused as to why the child's name was 'Noodle'. "Tell me... Noodle... Have you been a good little boy this year?" Noodle was silent for a moment. Then her face turned to pure RAGE when she realised that 'Santa' just called her a boy.

"Looks like all Noodle wants for Christmas this year is for people to get her gender right..." Murdoc laughed, pulling out his camera to catch what was about to happen next.

*End flashback*

"Okay, face-ache, you gave her the present, now BACK TO YOUR ROOM!" Murdoc yelled. Cyborg Noodle got up off the ground quickly and forced 2-D into the elevator and back into his underwater room. "Now that he's gone, I can show you MY fabulous birthday gift." He handed Noodle a box which she tore open eagerly. Inside, was a neclace with a scaly, slimy finger attatched to it.

"Uhmm... Thanks Murdoc, but..." Noodle said, lifting the necklace out of the box. "...What is it...?"

"It's a fish finger!" The bassist replied enthusiasticly. "I went fishing and I found this crazy mutant fish with fingers coming out of its eye sockets!" Noodle nodded and slowly put the necklace back into the box, trying not to gag. "Of course, I kept the rest of the fish hanging on the walls of my bedroom..." Murdoc continued.

"Hey, I got you something too!" Russel interrupted. "Now I know you rrreeeeaaallllyyy wanted that shiny new guitar that's only available in Japan..." Noodle smiled exitedly under her mask. Finally, a decent birthday surprise! Then Russel continued to speak. "... But there's no way I could get you that, so I got this instead." He opened his huge fist to reveal a coffee mug that had 'I like windmills' on it. The mug rolled from the palm of his hand to the end of his finger and Noodle picked it up.

"Thank you, Russel!" Noodle said, hiding her disappointment. At least the mug was clean. And it was true, she did like windmills. Murdoc rolled his eyes and shook his head, thinking his fish finger necklace was totally the best birthday present ever.

Later in the day, Murdoc was sitting down in the far end of the study, watching old Gorillaz music videos on the projector screen with Noodle. Murdoc was drinking rum, as usual, while Noodle was drinking TEA out of hear 'I like windmills' COFFEE mug.

"Murdoc, what do you think would've happened if you didn't shoot that huge elk on Highway 23?" Noodle asked, sipping some of the tea.

"I don't want to know, Noodle." Murdoc replied blankly, finishing of his glass of rum. "I don't think anyone wants to know. In fact, I don't think any normal human, real or cartoon, could come up with a good answer for th... OI CYBORG! MORE RUM!" Within seconds, Cyborg Noodle was pouring Murdoc another glass of rum.

"Why can't 2-D come out of his room and join us?" The guitarist asked.

"Because he needs to stay down in his little room like a good boy so we can record more ablums every year for the rest of our lives and become more rich and famous." Murdoc replied in his creepy, demonic way, finishing yet another glass of rum. "CYBORG! I want more rum. With ice.

"But can't he.. Y'know... Escape now?" Russel asked, staring through the study room windows, feeling bored of being outside on his own. "After all, I DID get rid of that wh-"

"Shaddup fatty, no-one likes you!" Murdoc yelled, somewhat drunk at that point. "CYBORG! Give me the usual!" Cyborg Noodle poured Murdoc another glass of rum. With ice. She had being doing so for the past hour, and the seemingly infinite loop of identical orders was messing with her deep, internal circuits. The real Noodle shook her head and sighed as Murdoc drunk glass after glass of rum and record speed. It hadn't been a very 'normal' 20th birthday for her.

"Cybah-Doodoo! Gimme some more r-"

"Rum. Rum?" Cyborg Noodle interrupted, twitching slightly. Real Noodle backed away to the farthest seat from her cyborg clone.

"Yep." The Cyborg's 'master' replied with a nod. "More rum. Now." Cyborg went off to get the rum bottle and came back to Murdoc. However, instead of pouring the drink and refilling the glass, to Murdoc's horror, she dropped the glass. It smashed and rum spilled everywhere.

"BEEEEEP! BeEeEeEpppp! Be-be-beeeEEEEPPP!" Cyborg screamed/beeped, before finding the right words to say. "I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE URRRNNGHHH!" she then procceeded to dramatically rip the circuits out of her chest with her bare robotic hands, and fell to the ground.

"Uhmmm... Oops..." Murdoc mumbled, before pulling something out of the back pocket of Cyborg Noodle's military-style pants. It was a birthday card for Noodle. "She meant to give you this, but got too caught up with my... Uhm... Orders. Your creepy robotic clone didn't completely forget about you, see?

Not saying anything, Noodle cautiously held the card open and examined it while Murdoc licked the spilled rum off the floor. It was white with plain black text printed on it, reading:

Message sent 31/10/10 at 01:46:23

boldDear USERNAME:'Real Noodle',

Happy birthday.

If you wake up with one of my dettatched limbs in your bed, it means I malfunctioned and dismembered myself during the night. Apologies. I will try not to let this happen, because USERNAME:'Murdoc Niccals Master Bass Player... Gorillaz... God' told me it was your twentyth birthday and that I should not consider you a threat attempt to destroy you./bold

End message;;#

"Oh how sweet." Noodle said, suddenly wishing that someone gave her plane tickets back to Japan as a gift. "Happy, freakin' birthday to me."


End file.
